I wrestled with God yesterday. Although I hate to admit it, I do that a lot. I wish I didn’t. I’m usually exhausted when the match is over and God always wins. I don’t know why I challenge Him.
I think yesterday’s wrestling match was prompted by reading about Jacob going to the mat with God in Genesis chapter 32. As I read this portion of Scripture I noticed something I’d missed before . . . Jacob didn’t pick the fight . . . God did.
I can kind of understand why God might do that. Jacob had a history of scheming and manipulating to get his way. And, despite his dishonest tactics, Jacob always seemed to come out on top with what he wanted and more. He had the birthright and the blessing. He had more wives than he’d asked for . . . more sons than he could love . . . more sheep than he needed . . . and more broken relationships than one man could mend.
In Genesis 32 two such relationships had finally caught up with him. His father-in-law Laban was behind him. His brother Esau was before him. Both had grievances to bear. But, in typical Jacob fashion, he’d figured out a way to control his own destiny. By this time in the story Jacob had already settled accounts with Laban and had put the finishing touches on his plan to win back his brother. But, the night before the big showdown Jacob found himself alone with God. I don’t think this was part of Jacob’s plan.
Although Jacob had asked God to bless his rather elaborate efforts to control his own life, I don’t get the feeling Jacob had completed surrendered those plans and strategies to God. Jacob was still in control. Jacob was still calling the shots. Jacob was still master of his own destiny. That was until he spent the night in the dirt with the angel of God. In the end the angel won and Jacob limped away with a constant reminder of his need to live a surrendered life. I don’t think this was a lesson Jacob necessarily wanted to learn. But it was a lesson God desired to teach. You see, Jacob’s self-sufficiency had caused him to spend a good portion of his life outside the Promised Land. And, without a surrendered heart, God was reluctant to bless Jacob’s plan and bring him back.
The issue of surrender was at the heart of my wrestling with God yesterday. God called me to the mat in an effort to wrestle my plans out of my hands. He wasn’t asking me to give up my hopes, plans and dreams. He only wanted me to surrender them to Him.
As a result of Jacob’s struggle with God, Jacob got a name change. He was no longer to be known as Jacob, but instead, Israel. According to the commentary notes in my Bible, Israel means “God prevails.” In other words, every time Jacob heard his new name he was reminded of the fact that God wins . . . His will always prevails.
By the end of the day yesterday I was there. I was at that place called surrender. And as I was dusting myself off I could honestly say I had left my hopes, dreams and desires where they belong . . . in His hands. I am no longer in control. I am no longer calling the shots. I am no longer master of my own destiny. God is . . . because He always wins.
Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the LORD will stand. Proverbs 19:21