This Means War
September 5, 2012
3 comments:
- Unknown said...
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Shame. Shame is like a darkness that enters and attacks in all areas of the body, especially the mind. When I began my walk with Jesus, almost four years ago, I had no idea that what I could believe about Jesus, the power of the Holy Spirit and God's love could be stripped from me the moment I stopped fighting and waging war on the demons and kept TRUTH at the forefront of my mind and heart. Without the true armor of God as a part of my "wardrobe," each and everyday, I allow the devil an opening to attack and wrestle me to the ground "by the neck." I know because I am flat on my back as I speak (write).
I have been very focused on Ephesians 6 for a couple weeks now because the amount of shame and guilt that burdens my shoulders became heavier and heavier and eventually took precendent over "renewing my mind each day," putting on my battle gear, and believing the truth written in my favorite book and my life manual, The Bible.
And now, I am at a crossroad. Do I give in and let the devil win? Or do I continue and call out to the one I doubted and say rescue me...help me find my armor...the longer I wait to fight, the sooner I will have lost the fight to fight. What a scary thought.
The armor of God is heavy: "put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers..." (Ephesians 6:13-18)
What if your shame has become so heavy and so exhausting...you can't pray. You try...but no words come out. You can't feel God's presence because you don't want to face him. The mirror is no longer your friend (never really was anyway--I don't look like JLo either) because you, God, and OTHERS know what you did, how you felt, what you said, how you acted, and what you wanted to do...and because the armor of God has not been fastened to "endure all circumstances," the vulnerability and feelings of judgment (even if a lie) seem real...
I am a woman, a mother, a teacher, but my shame has caused me to allow myself to feel so unworthy of God's love and other people's opinions (again, that may be lies) have taken precedent over God's opinion of me. I no longer feel like a "child of God," which should have come first on that list. In the end, his opinion is all that matters, and with sincerity I say, I want to hear "Well done."
I am on that battlefield every day...right now, I am more running from the fire because my armor is lost. Once I find it, I have the choice to pick it up and keep fighting--it is God and me. Or I can pass by it, let the shame rule my life, let other's thoughts and opinions of me dictate where I go and where I don't, and say "I give up." - September 6, 2012 at 9:19 AM
- Unknown said...
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- February 8, 2013 at 1:58 PM
- Unknown said...
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I was reading your blog because I will be attending the Women's Conference "Faith Under Fire" at Pine Valley the first weekend in March and I wanted an idea of who you are. My mother and I will be speaking at a conference in May and were amazed at how similar our teachings/testimonies came out this year. Both of us wrote about the bondage that we struggled with, as a result of the lies our enemy implanted from childhood. The victory over these thoughts came through the belt of truth, along with the rest if the Armor in Ephesians 6:10. (I just finished writing a book about Spiritual Warfare). When we saw this blog and the subject for that weekend, we knew that it was more than mere family ties that prompted us to write about Spiritual warfare. The Holy Spirit is moving among God’s troops and I am excited to hear what He has given you to share with us in a few weeks.
My blog is www.beckyitsallstuff.com if you would like to check it out.
May God continue to bless you and use you as a vessel for freedom and victory.
- February 8, 2013 at 2:03 PM
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